(B)e a (M)illionaire (I)ndex

Why am I talking about this topic?

After mentoring hundreds of people and helping many individuals to be more successful in their lives, I discovered that most of us are lacking in understanding what true success is all about.  How sure are we that we are more successful today compared to yesterday? How certain are we that tomorrow we will be more successful than today? Are there ways in which we can find out how? And if there are, do we have them?  Are we simply living our lives day by day not knowing where we are heading... do we want to regret for the things we have yet to achieve?  After much research, I realized that there are three basic principles to true success.  Miss any of them and we will miss true success.

Principle 1: Discovering Yourself
Why is it that discovering yourself is entirely related to your success?  In all your life, one person has always been constant; and that’s you.  Therefore, by discovering yourself is the number one single most important step towards true success.  And there’s a Chinese saying, ‘Knowing yourself and your enemies will ensure many victories.”  How true is this?  When we look at it in a different perceptive as we all may know we are our greatest enemy.  This enemy who we need to know can be simply ourselves.

A) Discover your definition of success
This is the first thing that we ought to do.  Without this, we are simply aimless.  Clarity is power; the clearer you are the closer you are to your goal.  Take out a paper and write this down.  Use the Be-Do-Have concept.  Ask ourselves who do we want to be? What do we want to do?  And what will we have?  Set a five years’ goal.

B) Discover your passion
We need to discover our passion, what we truly enjoy doing.  As the saying goes, ‘When work meets play, we need not work another single day.’  All the things we do are divided into two categories.  One which give us good feelings and the other which give us bad feelings.  We do effortlessly when we are doing things that give us good feeling, in other words, things that we are passionate about.  It is truly essential for us to do this as it could speed up the whole journey to success five to ten times faster.

C) Discover your strength   
All of us has different calling, all of us has different capabilities.  Isn’t it obvious that our strengths can easily be ten to twenty times more effective than our weaknesses?  But don’t get me wrong, all of us ought to dwell on our strengths and work on weaknesses.  What will happen if you’re fully unleashing your full potential?  I ensure you it will be truly fabulous!


Principle 2: Believing in Yourself
If there is only one task that you need to do to reach your success; it is this: truly believe in yourself.  Faith in yourself is the only known fuel to your success.  Belief will unleash one’s full potential and this will enable you to have effective action and effective action will give you the right results.  When right results are obtained, it will in turn strengthen your beliefs once again.  Believing in yourself is the most important definition of success.

Principle 3: Partnering Yourself
Most of the successful people in the world team themselves with someone else.  And this is when one plus one equal more than two.  It is equal to three or more.  As I have mention earlier, to dwell on your strengths and passion.  Then, who are taking care of your other essential tasks which may be your weakness and dislikes.  A team is the solution.  Can you imagine a scenario in which all of us in the team are doing things that we are most effective and passionate about?  This get together will create miracles which is what a TEAM stands for: Together Everyone Achieves Miracles.  However, this is only possible if there are times spent to know your team mates.

In summary:
These three principles are great gauges for true success.  It takes much maturity to follow true success as it may not simply be having lots of money.  To be financially rich is simply one of the gauges of how successful a person is, but it is may not be the best measurement.  If what we desire is a passive income or long term success, we ought to look at things that are more permanent.  Discovering yourself, believing in yourself and ally yourself is the three most important and permanent elements.

As long as we improve in our knowledge in these three elements each day, we will know that we are closer to our success.  Success is not a matter of chance; it’s a matter of choice.  I’m glad that by reading this, I know that you’ve made your choice.  Discover, believe and ally yourself each day and you will be on the way to greater success.  Stay focused and stay successful. 

This article is written by Paul Stuart, an Infopreneur and Entrepreneur.

Paul Stuart is the founder of the Conference Organizing Company http://maitreallianz.com and http://ientrepreneurship.com 

He has been the sales profession for the past 9 years and was a senior trainer of international Company. He is a webmaster and web designer with 10 years experiences and the above-mentioned sites are two of his works.

Email: paul@maitreallianz.com 
 

People are either "givers" or "takers." It's as simple as that. They are one or the other. No room for gray. When I talk about giving and taking here, I'm not only talking about people who borrow or lend money, I'm talking about emotional giving and taking.

You know the people I'm talking about. The ones who sap your energy and your strength. They only want to be with you as long as you bring some value to them. They're always afraid they're missing out on something. When you're with them, they're usually looking over your shoulder, scanning the room, to see who else, of more use, might be there.

They talk at you, not to you. The don't listen. In fact they're just waiting for a chance to interrupt so they can talk more about themselves. They only call when they need something, when their lives are out of kilter.

The funny thing is though, that someone who is an emotional taker, will usually take your money, hospitality, kindness and girlfriend as well!

Now do a quick mental inventory of your friends and associates, and without thinking too hard, label each one as a "giver" or a "taker." You'll be surprised at how easy it is to do.

Then there are the Bottom-Feeders. Now these are the real losers. The extreme takers. They'll take, then take a little more, then just a little more until you're sucked dry.

They probably don't even recognize that they're doing you any harm. In fact, they believe you owe them. After all, they rationalize, you've got so much more than they do: more money, energy, luck and connections. It stands to reason you should share it all with them! That's only fair.

And worst of all are the Player-Haters! They gossip, and cackle and love to see other folks fail. When you share good news with them, their smiles don't ever reach their eyes. They pretend to celebrate your success but are just waiting for you to fall. These are the folks who only want to hold you down, so they won't be lonely at the bottom.

So, stay away from the Takers, the Bottom-Feeders and the Player-Haters at all costs, even if they're so close to you they're related! Find people who have the same goals you have and who'll be there to encourage you when you need it.

Burrel Lee Wilks III is America's Most Authentic Life Coach! Find out more about this Streetwise MBA (Master of being Alive) at burrelstreetwise.com or subscribe to his free newsletter at theburrelreport.com.

Dorene Lehavi, Ph.D.
 
1) Listen without judgment. The key to good communication is listening well. Save your judging for later after you have heard and understood what was said.
 
2) Listen with the willingness to be swayed to the other person's opinion. No obligation to actually being swayed, but stay open to the option.
 
3) Listen without thinking about what you will say next. Take time before you respond.
 
4) Do not be invested in being right. Being right is not the point. If you must be right, you are not able to listen nor communicate because you have set up a barrier already. If you are always right that means the other person is always wrong. That cannot be true.
 
5) If your mind wanders, ask for repetition. We all are subject to distraction. Try to stay focused.
 
6) In all cases repeat back what you heard and ask if it is correct.
 
7) Listen to yourself. Find quiet moments and pay attention to what you are hearing from yourself. Does your body tighten up about certain issues. Body language is not something to read only in
other people.
 
8) Say it honestly, but with consideration for the listener's feelings. Be polite, respectful and sincere.
 
9) Understand and acknowledge that most things are not black or white, but somewhere in a gray area. Get comfortable with gray.
 
10) Have integrity and build trust. Don't say what you don't mean. Don't promise what you won't or can't fulfill. Follow through with any committments you make.
 
Good listening skills take practice. Specific coaching may be necessary if you find you have communication issues with your boss, colleagues, subordinates, partners or personal relationships.
 
Dorene Lehavi, Ph.D. is principal of Next Level Business and Professional Coaching. She coaches Professionals and Business Partners and teaches teleclasses on techniques to break through  barriers to the next level. Dr. Lehavi offers a complimentary coaching session so you can experience how coaching can work for you. Contact Dr. Lehavi at DL@CoachingforYourNextLevel.com or on the web at http://www.CoachingforYourNextLevel.com. Subscribe to Mastering Your Next Level monthly e-newsletter at http://www.coachingforyournextlevel.com/newsletter.html

by Peter Murphy

What is the one thing you want more than anything else for the people you love the most? If you had a magic wand what would you grant your family and friends? What is it that everyone wants?

To be happy!

How can you make other people happy until you are happy? How can you be happy?

Lester Levenson, creator of The Sedona Method, discovered the key to happiness. He searched for 47 years and nearly died in the process but he did find it. Do you want to know what it is?

Lester had a breakthrough after much soul searching and found out how to be happy only after reviewing his entire life. He spotted a common pattern, one that was present in every happy moment.

Whenever he was feeling love towards another person he felt happy.
And whenever he felt any other feeling he was not happy.

Test this principle for yourself. Think of a time when you were blissfully happy. Did you feel loving at that time? This works for me every time. Is this easy or what? Simply amazing!

If this sounds too simple to work I know that you have not tested it for yourself. Turning on a light bulb is easy too only because someone else figured it out!

Now it is time for Happy Talk or how to talk in a way that makes your family and friends happy...


1 Be Happy Yourself

Spend twenty minutes asking yourself:

- who do I love most in my life?
- what do I love most about myself?
- what things do I love most in my life?

After doing this exercise you will feel much happier. And you will have done it without having to spend any money on expensive clothes, cars or holidays!

2 Spread the happiness

Now that you feel happy you will radiate this to whoever you spend time with. Happiness is infectious. Just be yourself and add to the happiness by quietly asking yourself the above three questions when you are in company.

3 Show your friends and family how to be happy

Depending on how well you know your friends you may want to approach this step in one of two ways.

If you want to play it safe ask your friend to talk about times when she was happy. Let her talk and just listen as she relives those wonderful times from the past.

Share your own favorite moments too. Enjoy yourself!

If the people you are with are more open to the ideas we are discussing here take them through the steps I covered above in section one. Ask them these questions:

- who do you love most in my life?
- what do you love most about myself?
- what things do you love most in my life?

The Dalai Lama teaches that the purpose of life is to be happy.
Go on and live a life of purpose with your family and friends!

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

When you go out, look at the people around you. Don't they look like they're in a hurry to get somewhere? When you ask your friends out for a gathering, do you often get, "Sorry, I've got an appointment, or I've a meeting on that day"? Many people are chronically busy nowadays. They all have the compulsion to be successful as fast as possible. And to achieve that, they figure they have to compress five years of work into one, by moving five times faster! So they rush – developing a hard-nosed edge, sacrificing personal time and relationships, to get as much done as they can.

But despite their earnest and wholehearted attempt to be successful, they often waste their effort because they lose their sense of direction – focusing on the trees, but failing to notice the forest – they end up running in circles. If you don't occasionally stop running and look up at the stars, how will you know which way is North? (Don't tell me you have a compass.) In real terms, this means you have to set some time everyday to stop, and reflect.

· What do I value in life?
· What does success mean to me?
· Has what I've done today brought me closer to my life's goal?
· How do I get from where I am, to where I want to be?

Yes, these questions require you to think deep; do some soul-searching. But when you have the answers, your mind will be clear. It's like driving a car with a clean windscreen... you can see where you’re going! I suggest you clean your windscreen every night by taking time to reflect. That way, your vision will be as sharp as can be. Everyone needs a Vision – that vivid mental image of what you'd like to Be, Do, and Have in life. Without it, we can't see which way we're headed. And the only way to develop it is to pause, reflect, think deep, and search your soul.

*The Love of Having*
Have you heard of Retail Therapy? Women love it. It's the idea that you can go shopping, buy something you like, and it will make you feel good about yourself. In the Be-Do-Have model, buying stuff is obviously in the having stage. People subconsciously feel that having more stuff, will make them become who they want to be (Have-Be). But the sad part is, only the reverse is true. Being who you want to be, will lead you to having what such a person has (Be-Do-Have).

Many people are using the Retail Therapy model to feel successful. They scamper to earn as much money as they can, then they splurge it on a lavish lifestyle – fast car, high-class dining, luxurious apartment, hot nightspots, and exotic traveling. All these luxuries and status symbols are suppose to help them be somebody... But unless they already know who they are on the inside, they often end up being nobody. Luxury rich, but cash poor. These people have spent all their money on the toys. They will never get rich because they have none left over to invest. We all know that you must use the money you accumulate to buy assets which produce residual income, if you are ever going to achieve wealth and financial freedom.

As we rush through our day, making money and spending lavishly, in a race to be successful, perhaps we can realize that all it takes... is one diagnosis of a critical illness, one lawsuit that bankrupts you, or the death of a loved one, to shift your values in life. Suddenly the stuff you have isn't important anymore... You’d gladly give it all away to get back your health, to shelter your family, or to share more time with your loved one.

All a dying man wants is to be well again. All a homeless man wants is good food and a warm place to sleep at night. And all a grieving man wants is to have spent more time with his loved ones. Don't let this happen to you. Slow down, pause, and reflect. Figure out what's important to you in life. Then spend more time doing what's important, rather than following the masses – being busy everyday; chasing an imaginary shopping list of what it takes to be successful. Remember... better to walk slowly in the right direction, than to dash madly all over the place.

Lance Ong is a Licensed Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Master Practitioner of Hypnotherapy and Timeline Therapy. He does life coaching to help clients gain clarity of purpose, while removing mental blocks to success. Learn Lance’s philosophy for better living at his Internet Blog Site – “Wisdom to Create a Beautiful World” – www.lancism.com

6 steps to a new understanding of old problems.

A gardener I am not, but a few years ago some raspberries were transplanted and took over the north side of my house. As I was taking my evening stroll in my yard, I noticed that they were loaded with sweet red berries. I decided to spend the time picking several quarts of the elusive red berries. Red raspberries and a cup of ice cream sure sounded good to me. The raspberries were elusive because every time I thought all were picked, more would appear when a leaf or bush was moved and another angle of view was used. After going over the entire growth in one direction, more missed berries were noted on the way back. So a simple task of picking the berries turns into a hunting mission!

As a manager, supervisor or salesperson we often take a situation we face, quickly evaluate and then act. My question is, “How many berries have we missed?” “Could there be other information or solutions that are hidden under another leaf?” “Was the elusive right answer missed?”

This is where Outcome Based Thinking comes in. If we follow the steps and actually dig into the steps deep enough, it can change our view and solution to the situation we face. After all our purpose in most situations is to create an opportunity or eliminate a problem.

We can also look at trying to avoid Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity: “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome!” How many of us have fallen into this trap?

What if you could find alternate solutions, more creative solutions and have different outcomes to the situations you face today? How much time, effort and frustration might be saved? Here are 6 steps to getting a different outcome!

1. What are your real expectations in this situation? Are they clearly defined so you can have a strong focus? Do others understand the expectation and focus as well?

Jerry continually falls just short of his monthly objectives. So which your outcome is the most desirable: 1.) getting the objectives on track, or 2.) getting Jerry’s performance on track? How do the two different questions change your focus?

My suggestion is to ask yourself at least six different objectives, write them down and then compare, combine or prioritize them into one very focused objective that will address all or most of the six. Now you’re not leaving berries on the vine.

2. How well do I understand the other person or party? What don’t I know about them and their view of the situation? How can I find more of their “berries”? What is it they may really want out of this?

So what does Jerry want out of his work? How did he get into the position? What motivates him? What are his values, beliefs, perceptions of the situation? What are his expectations in this situation? In short, “What’s in it for him from his view, not yours?”

The suggestion here is to find out as much as one can about the situation and the other parties involved to gain an understanding of how they may be viewing it. Do the research, ask questions, talk to people and use other resources until you have a greater understanding of their position. Come up with at least six key motivators for the other party.

3. Determine a “Stop Loss Point”. In other words, at what point is the situation not a win – win for either side. At what point does the situation become to burdensome or the return in time and effort just is not there?

Jerry is just unwilling to make any changes in his thinking, habits or skills, even after multiple attempts. Do we continue to put effort into the situation?

Far too many times I have seen people (including myself) “marry” an issue or idea well past the “Stop Loss Point” and end up with more frustration and problems because of it. Unless you’re Superman you do not have to save the world. Let it go!

4. What are the potential hurdles, resistance or problems that may arise from the situation? Am I looking at all the internal and external influences that can affect it?

If we can get Jerry turned around what affect will it have? If we can’t get the performance how will it affect us? Knowing what Jerry wants, what affect will it have on other areas if he gets it? Who else might any given solution affect? In what way?

My suggestion is to list all the different areas the situation may affect and how they may be affected. What barriers or resistance might come from these areas?

5. In what ways can we turn the hurdles and resistance into a positive? Take the items in step four and turn them into reasons for rather than against.

Jerry feels he has reached his ability limit in the position and does not know what to do. How do you take this and turn it into a positive for him? What might be some solutions that will keep you within your “Stop Loss Point”? How could you approach him on this?

The more information acquired in step two, the more powerful this step becomes. How do you fit your solutions into Jerry’s values, beliefs and perceptions? How do you get him to create his own solution?

6. The Action, what action does each party have to take to make the solution work? What is the time line? Who is accountable? Accountable to whom?

Jerry has agreed to a plan of action and accountability to meet his new personal performance goals which he has developed.

This may seem a bit much for some problems and yet if that problem is reoccurring or you are not achieving what you want, maybe it’s how you think and approach things? Are you seeing and finding all the berries in the patch?

If you have reoccurring situations that create frustration and loss for you, give the Six Steps of Outcome Based Thinking a try. We call this “Billionaire Thinking” because successful people apply this process in all aspects of their lives. How would this type of thinking affect you or your team? Many of our participants in training comment, “This really makes me think differently.” or “I never really looked at it that way before.” That is the power of Outcome Based Thinking.

For more on problem solving, creative thinking, innovation or coaching, contact Business Architects through their web site at www.busarc.com. Outcome Based Thinking is based on the book Psychology of Persuasion by Dr. Kevin Hogan www.kevinhogan.com